Hi,

We are at the early stages of a new software venture and, to make it a
success, we need to put together a core technology team that can
impress the bejesus out of our investors. That will allow us to avoid
investor-micromanagement and have a free hand to make this company a
success. The product is a technology that has applicability to 90+% of
the commercial software products out there today -- on all platforms!
The development environment is C++. The technology is state of the
art. We are located just north of Boston.

I have high hopes for this venture because we have a product concept
that is a sure winner and a corporate culture that insures success. My
philosophy is that if you do it right, success will follow. That was
my experience in my first venture in the 80's; because we did it
right, and because I had free reign over the engineering, we captured
90% of our market and changed a key process in semiconductor mfg
technology at the same time.

The core team will have an equity position in the company, of course.
But what is perhaps more important is that they know how to manage
development of a product that will evolve through several generations
and be succesful in the marketplace. As the company grows I want this
team to grow into the day-to-day management of the technical staff.
Instead of imposing an arbitrary management structure/style, the
eventual management structure will be determined by the dynamics of
how this team works together. The only proviso is that whatever
management structure and style we adopt will have to protect the
company's assets: people and product!

If you are interested and you have what it takes, you can check out
the staff openings at www.uknowsys.com
Principles only, please.

Dan Azlin, CEO
Universal Knowledge Systems

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In article <8idbvvc8rnfm50sj6dq7dj0s2iv5lennqo@4ax.com>,
dazlin@uknowsys.com says...
quote:

> Hi,
>
> We are at the early stages of a new software venture and, to make it a
> success, we need to put together a core technology team that can
> impress the bejesus out of our investors. That will allow us to avoid
> investor-micromanagement and have a free hand to make this company a
> success. The product is a technology that has applicability to 90+% of
> the commercial software products out there today -- on all platforms!
> The development environment is C++. The technology is state of the
> art. We are located just north of Boston.
>
> I have high hopes for this venture because we have a product concept
> that is a sure winner and a corporate culture that insures success. My
> philosophy is that if you do it right, success will follow. That was
> my experience in my first venture in the 80's; because we did it
> right, and because I had free reign over the engineering, we captured
> 90% of our market and changed a key process in semiconductor mfg
> technology at the same time.
>
> The core team will have an equity position in the company, of course.
> But what is perhaps more important is that they know how to manage
> development of a product that will evolve through several generations
> and be succesful in the marketplace. As the company grows I want this
> team to grow into the day-to-day management of the technical staff.
> Instead of imposing an arbitrary management structure/style, the
> eventual management structure will be determined by the dynamics of
> how this team works together. The only proviso is that whatever
> management structure and style we adopt will have to protect the
> company's assets: people and product!
>
> If you are interested and you have what it takes, you can check out
> the staff openings at www.uknowsys.com
> Principles only, please.
>
> Dan Azlin, CEO
> Universal Knowledge Systems


Hi, Dan.  I am a neurotic, depressed, losing XXXXXXX who will foist my
duties onto my coworkers and blame them for my failure, take as much
time off as I possibly can, drain your company of all the resources
within my reach, and generally make everybody wish they had never met
me.  I know Unix and C++, though.  Well, actually I know C but I will
call it "C++" just to qualify myself for a job and further piss off my
coworkers.  But I promise to make up for any gaps in my technical
knowledge by demanding a six-figure income.  My last boss fired me and
had me escorted from the premises at gunpoint after he found naked
pictures of his wife on my laptop, but I think he'll give me a good
reference anyway.  But the really good news is that I'm local!  Yes!  If
you want to talk to me, I'm right outside your building in my rusty
Pinto where I have been living for the past few weeks.  Come on out and
we can chat and give each other the finger.

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Hem wrote:
quote:

> In article <8idbvvc8rnfm50sj6dq7dj0s2iv5lennqo@4ax.com>,
> dazlin@uknowsys.com says...
> 

Fantastic!  I'd like to buy a policy.  Or did you mean your corporate
culture will "ensure" success?
[QUOTE] 
>
>
> Hi, Dan.  I am a neurotic, depressed, losing XXXXXXX who will foist my
> duties onto my coworkers and blame them for my failure, take as much
> time off as I possibly can, drain your company of all the resources
> within my reach, and generally make everybody wish they had never met
> me.  I know Unix and C++, though.  Well, actually I know C but I will
> call it "C++" just to qualify myself for a job and further piss off my
> coworkers.  But I promise to make up for any gaps in my technical
> knowledge by demanding a six-figure income.  My last boss fired me and
> had me escorted from the premises at gunpoint after he found naked
> pictures of his wife on my laptop, but I think he'll give me a good
> reference anyway.  But the really good news is that I'm local!  Yes!  If
> you want to talk to me, I'm right outside your building in my rusty
> Pinto where I have been living for the past few weeks.  Come on out and
> we can chat and give each other the finger.


You're hired!!!

[ Post a follow-up to this message ]

In article <Zo6dnd_hi8W_3WuiRVn-vw@comcast.com>, jeffplus@comcast.net
says...
quote:

> Hem wrote: 
>
> Fantastic!  I'd like to buy a policy.  Or did you mean your corporate
> culture will "ensure" success?
> 
>
> You're hired!!!


Great!  I'm sure I can fill the role that every technology company
needs: The over-valued prima donna.  I have mastered some critical prima
donna skills to help mask my basic incompetence, artificially boost my
value, and fool management into thinking that assholism is just an
eccentricity to be overlooked...

- The art of ignoring coworkers while they stand right in front of me
(or to the side) and ask direct questions.

- The ability to maintain a very bad mood all day every day.

- Ignoring the phone, so callers must leave messages, and then just
listening to the messages that I want to hear.

- Setting the "read receipt" option on all my email, and publicly
chastising anybody who doesn't read my messages.  And God help the
people who delete email without even opening it, like I do.

- Refering to all coworkers as "resources" even to their faces.

- Bad mouthing coworkers -- I mean "resources" -- to their bosses.

- Picking apart other peoples' code or documentation, and loudly
wondering how such a moron could possibly have been hired and then
following that up with a prediction that the person will cause the whole
company to fail miserably.

- All sarcasm, all the time.

- Prima donna dress code: Messy hair, wrinkled casual jeans and tshirt,
stubble, bad breath.  Socks optional, faded gym shoes mandatory.

...and I'm learning even more great prima donna skills every day!  I
think that these valuable traits, along with my ability to write C code
and pass it off as "C++" code, are easily worth $120K per year and eight
weeks of paid vacation.  See ya soon, Dan.

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